Keep it Classy and Southern
Baby-Mamma’s and Facebook

Okay, some things just aren’t meant for Facebook. Some things are meant to be said to someone’s face, but you just can’t find the words. That happens to me a lot. So, I am going to get on my soapbox about parenthood. 

Short. Sweet. To the point. 

*If you don’t have a job, any form of education, any form of financial support, or if you think the pull out method is 100% effective, you don’t need to reproduce. 

*If you do have a baby and choose to keep it, IT”S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!!!! Not mommy and daddy’s. You brought that baby into the world. Give it a fighting chance and make sure that it won’t question your love when it’s older. If you are a working parent, do what you have to do. I mean, everyone needs to earn a living. It shows character and the child will understand nothing is given to us for free. BUT don’t neglect that child. Don’t push it off on someone else. Also, mommy time… mommy time is gone. If you wanted your mommy time, you shouldn’t have been having sex. 

*Oh, so you are sixteen and want a baby more than anything? Wake up. babies are wonderful. They are a gift from God and can change anyone’s life, but unlike the fantasy world you are living in, babies cry, poop, and get hungry… a lot. You can’t just haul the kid off to show it off like show and tell. That’s just immature. If you really don’t care about them. And seriously, by putting them off on everyone else just screams “I don’t want to be a parent.”, then you need to think about adoption. The children need a stable life. Not getting shuffled all over God’s green earth. And that doesn’t just qualify for teen moms. I’ve known better teen moms than married, out of high school ‘Mothers’. 

*So, you are still in high school, wanted to get pregnant, did get pregnant, and now you want to live your own life? That’s real cute sweetheart. You made your bed, now you need to suck it up and be the parent you were wanted to be. 

*Don’t go looking for a baby daddy to replace the sperm donor. I’m not saying it’s wrong to date, but please, put your child first. You need to set an example. If he doesn’t act mature enough to be a father, don’t waste your time! 

*All this “My baby daddy is a POS and he needs to just ddadadadadadadada…” NO ONE CARES. DROP IT. For one, if he is involved in your child’s life, that is your child’s father. He or she deserves to have a male figure in his or her life. Just because it didn’t work out with you and him doesn’t mean the child should suffer. If your baby daddy is not involved in said child’s life, it’s simple, HE”S NOT A DADDY. HE”S JUST A SPERM DONOR SO WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER!?!? It’s not going to do any good to complain about it on Facebook. If you are ‘just trying to tell the world how he really is’ what’s the point? If he has a new girlfriend, she isn’t going to listen to you. She is either too stupid to see the obvious for herself or she thinks you are bat-shit crazy and feels sorry for the guy. Let her figure it out on her own, or maybe, just maybe if you be mature about it, he will grow up and become a decent person!?

*The social party time that you had when you weren’t responsible for a human life is over. You have made the decision to carry out the position of parenthood. Be One. Don’t be some worthless leech that depends on the government to take care of your baby for you. If you can’t take care of one, you don’t need five.

It’s logical people.  I’m not a parent, but it just seems logical. Stay classy.

Karma: It is what it is.

I forgive you, but I will never forget. You claimed to be the best and would never hurt me. I should have known better, but I trusted you. You completely stabbed me in the back and I will never talk to you again. It’s what you deserve. You don’t deserve anymore of my time. I was a faithful, trusting friend to you but you couldn’t respect me enough to do the same. It may seem spiteful, but it’s really not. It’s the truth. You weren’t a friend to me. Friends don’t do what you did. He was not mine to have, but he wasn’t yours to have either. It wasn’t the fact that he didn’t want to be with me, but it’s the fact that YOU wanted to be with him after I had told you how I felt about him. After I told you that it wasn’t right but you totally bypassed my feelings like they didn’t matter. All you wanted was to get to him and you didn’t care who got in your way. 

The only thing I ever kept from you was that one secret. You never asked me why. You never gave me a chance to fully explain. Well, here it is. I didn’t tell you when it first happened because in fact, we weren’t that close. The only other person I told was Eric and now I know I shouldn’t have told him. The reason we did what we did wasn’t for the thrill or to hurt anyone. We needed each other. It may not have been in the way that was logical, but we did. We swore we wouldn’t tell anyone because that would just cause problems. It was true, if you were in my shoes, would you have told everyone? No, especially since there was so much drama going on anyway. And then we found out someone else liked him? We never meant to hurt anyone. He was my friend. There was no romance there. Maybe a spark, but no romance. As time went on, I was ashamed. Not of him, he is a good person, but just because that wasn’t me. It happened. I can’t change that. But with you, You made it all look so easy. I would have never done that to you. I know I have a flirtatious personality but really? Do you really think I would have sunk that low? I opened my home to you. My parents loved you. They thought you were a good friend to me. You sure did fool everyone here.

I partially blame Eric too. But, he was free to like anyone he wanted. But after I told you I was falling for him, that’s when you should have backed off. If it’s meant to be it will happen. But obviously you couldn’t wait. You chose a boy over your best friend. Even after you told me you wouldn’t want to move away, you were planning on moving to ETSU in the Spring, Not for me. You were going to move 500 miles for a boy. That’s real cute. You disrespected me. So I was done. You weren’t worth crying over. Sorry, I’m not sorry. You were my best friend. I could easily talk to you about everything, and I miss what we had sometimes. But, once you screw up like that, you are dead to me. Just like Eric is dead to me. You’ve complained about your mother, but you are just like her. And from what you told me, that’s not a compliment. Don’t be a hypocrite. 

When you text me last, every bit of anger rushed back to be. I forgive you because that’s my christian duty. Whether or not I am the best Christian or worst, that’s for God to judge, not you. Besides, I never once judged the way you were living, plus, you are the one that said you were just trying to live right to please others but not yourself. That may or not be true, but it’s not my problem. Regardless, I forgave you, but I’ll never think anything different than you only apologized because Karma bit you so hard in the butt it was just eating you alive. He dumped you. He picked another girl and moved on. Wow, sound familiar? They don’t change. Ever. You weren’t any better. Because every time he looks at me, I see that look of pain that he made a mistake. But, that’s not my problem either. I have found the true, honest people that I hope will stay with me. So, I guess I should ultimately be thanking you. If we would have stayed friends, I would not be where I am now. Stronger and wiser. And not to mention I have actually found a man that loves me and accepts everything about me. Past and present. I’m far from perfect. I know I do things that aren’t the best, and I know I have been a hypocrite at times. But I have changed my life. And I do wish you the best in life. God knows that is a true statement. Because you got a taste of your own medicine and that’s all I ever wanted. So, bless your heart and keep it Classy.  

My Favorite boys :)

#Happy4th #bestfriend #boyfriend #rainyday #lovehim

#Happy4th #bestfriend #boyfriend #rainyday #lovehim

#blueheeler #Australiancattledog #mybaby #lovehim #myridingbuddy #bestdogever

#blueheeler #Australiancattledog #mybaby #lovehim #myridingbuddy #bestdogever

Everything Good ALWAYS Happens When You Least Expect It.

God always has a way of proving his existence. You can look outside your window and have absolutely no excuse to say he isn’t real. You may think He is putting your life through Hell, but even in those times, I try to keep positive and think, ‘Yes, he has something better for me planned.” Going through a hard break-up, having a major fallout with someone you thought was your best friend, and getting played like an old record can be discouraging. I was about at my limit again. Trying to move past it all with a smile wasn’t the hardest thing but life could be better. Tuesday, November 6, 2012 rolls around. I’m running a little behind, I have to go to school and of course, my car is dead. I call dad and we get it jumped off and he tells me to meet him at Jack’s. (Jack Cress is the owner of Mountain View Service Station. It’s right across the road from the office and this is where we get all our vehicles serviced.) I’m a smiley person and I think that’s something good about myself. I’ll be friendly to everyone. It’s just natural. But that morning, despite feeling frustrated, I smiled. 

Sometimes it’s embarrassing being a girl and not knowing anything about cars. Dad knows this. But when I parked my car to get it checked, this guys comes out with some testing equipment. He was so handsome. Tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, and my preferred body build (not too big and not too small). I couldn’t help but smile really big. He smiled too. But I didn’t think anything of it. It just made my morning better. He told me and dad that my battery would be fine today but needed to be replaced and he could do it tomorrow. We all agreed and I went on my way. I shook off the thought of him because I knew there was no need to even wonder. I’m sure he had a girlfriend and I’m sure he didn’t think I was pretty or even his type. 

November 7, 2012. It was one of those days. I was fighting with my ex and Wednesday’s weren’t my days at all. But, this same guy came in to the office to get an x-ray and to get my vehicle. I noticed his name was Chip. I knew it was just going to be a waste of time, but I started asking my best friends if they knew a Chip that worked at Mountain View. No one seemed to know but I was telling Amy that he was so cute and seemed so sweet. I would just love to get to know him. we talked a little but it was small talk. Nothing serious but there was just something about him that made me smile. He had come back and left my keys and then left again. I just couldn’t get over the spark that I felt. Then, out of nowhere, the door opens again and there he is. Nervous as Hell. He looks me in the eye and tells me that even though he has a lot going on right now, he wants to take me out to dinner. On a date. Never in my life has a guy ever done this to me. I couldn’t stop smiling. :) I gave him my number and told him I would love to.

He started texting me and telling me some basic things about him. This was just too good to be true. We both had baggage, but he had a little bit more than me. He was going through a break up. I was scared. I didn’t want to be a rebound. I didn’t want to get my heart broken again. But I wanted to take a chance. Knowing this could turn into something beautiful. Plus, we needed each other. We needed each others company. Everything he was telling me was everything that I needed to hear from someone. He was instantly the type of guy that I had been hoping for. Nonjudgmental. Someone who knows past is past. the future is what is most important. The first time he kissed me, My heart leaped and butterflies filled my stomach. It was perfect. I have never had that feeling with anyone else before and I was engaged!  I never thought it was possible to feel this way. It wasn’t that puppy love that 16 year old get when they see a cute guy that they forget about in 2 days, this was actually something more. I felt relaxed. More content than I had ever felt. I think it’s because we weren’t planning on anything more than what we would be doing the next day. We just went with it. And we have been. 

This man has fought over seas. He has loved and lost. He understands the value of family and taking every day like it may be his last. We look towards the future and both agree we are working towards a greater commitment, but we are happy just being together right now. When I’m having a bad day, he lifts me up and makes me smile by doing the most simple selfless things. I don’t need a man. I don’t have to be with someone. But he makes me happy. I want to be with him. He’s far from perfect, just like me. But he is perfect in his imperfections and I do love him. I just know God put him in my life for a reason. Because he has saved me from myself. Because of Chip, I am a better person. I don’t cuss as much. I know what’s wrong and I try to stay away from it. He’s the guy that I want to talk to every day. I trust him. He comes to church with me on Sunday mornings and takes me out whenever he can. He has helped me try new things and we have laughed until it hurts. We have sang at the top of our lungs and hummed little tunes. We just fit. I don’t have to see him every day. I mean, I want to, but it’s not the end of the world if I don’t. And we don’t have to talk every second. That’s trust. I fix up when we go out somewhere but he accepts me when I don’t have any make up on or if my hair is a mess. He’s smelled my morning breathe and he knows some of my strangest routines. When I could fuss, I don’t. Nothing has been said or done to make me want to fight. Our discussions are healthy and I am thankful. Fighting is good, but only when needed. Not just because you have a bad day. Life is Good. God is Great. Happiness and Contentment are crucial to an amazing life. :)

I look forward to the days to come. No matter what happens, I’ll know that I have been blessed by God to have this man in my life. And if I could have it my way, I’m going to marry him one day. :) 

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD?

My boyfriend. I know it’s a typical answer, but he is truly my best friend. He may not know everything about me yet, but he can tell when something is not entirely peachy. He will tickle me until I want to cry and he will spontaneously take me on random adventures. :)

Never Going Back

When I was 17 years old and in between my junior and senior year of high school, I got the experience of a lifetime (or that’s how I see it). I got the opportunity  to go to a month long summer program called TGSAS-Tennessee Governor’s School for the Agriculture Sciences. I was on top of the world. No one at my school had ever gotten to go to the Agriculture program before and it was just an amazing feeling when I got accepted. 500 Miles away from home. I was ready. Not only did I receive college credit, but I met some amazing people. I learned so much in that month’s time and will hopefully never forget it. 

Fast forward, say 6 months. I was on Facebook and I get a message from one of the guys that happened to be one of my counselors at TGSAS. He started flirting with me and all that good stuff that girls just love. (he was 21 and I was 18). I thought it was cute and I was really liking the attention because I had been having guy problems and no one ever really paid me much attention. Long/Short story short, we started talking a lot and we eventually started dating after a few days. He lived in Benton, TN which was about 4 1/2 hours from where I lived. Oh, it was going to work. I fell so hard and so fast for this guy that I didn’t know which end was up. My parents did not like this. I was constantly on the phone and had removed myself from most of the things I was interested in prior. It was stressful being in a long distance relationship, but I was bound and determined to make it work. I mean I did cry a lot and fuss and fight with Nicholas and my parents a lot. But that was just how it had to be. They didn’t understand what I was going through and my mom was having a lot of hormonal problems. It was all going to be worth it in the end. 

He had Graduated from UTM which was where we had first met at TGSAS. So, after juggling where I was going to go to college, I finally decided Martin was the place for me. I felt good about going there because I had some of my friends and his friends became my friends. Life was getting better. or so I thought. Looking back now, I overlooked a lot of things. He hated for me to go out with my friends. I was never a partier, the only things we liked to do was simple-go-out-and-hang things. He thought guys would be there and I would cheat on him. I’m not a cheater. Never have and never will. I don’t think it is ever acceptable. Also, if I didn’t answer his texts within 5 minutes, all Hell would break lose. I was blind to those things, but regardless, on November 23rd he proposed. Knowing my parents would have a fit and that it was the worse possible time, I couldn’t say no. I didn’t tell them for a month because I new it would be bad. He yelled at me so much because I was, as he thought, ashamed of him. That was far from the case. I loved him with all my heart! I wanted to be with him and have everyone support our love. But they didn’t. They never would and it killed me. When I finally told my parents, My mom was so angry. My Dad was sad. And my grandparents told me that it would be up to me to marry whoever I wanted. At least I had their blessing. Things got better in some ways but worse in others. As the year 2011 progressed, Nicholas and I were fighting a lot more. We had good times of course, I wouldn’t have stayed with him if there weren’t any good times. I wasn’t that weak. We broke up for a few days because I was still fighting with my mom. I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t eat. It was just pathetic. Why was I this weak person? He swore he loved me and would do anything for me. He said he wanted to be with me more than anything and that I was his everything. he was my everything. I had given him everything I could give him. 

That September, i started my 2 year at Martin. Things were getting better but because we still couldn’t be together more than a few days at a time, we were on edge. It was a weekly thing that he wanted me to move closer. He had bought us a starter house and he was ready to be married. Sure I was, but I had things to get done. He got 4 years of college to live. I wanted my chance. I feel like every other day got worse once I got fully moved in. He hated my friends. They honestly weren’t that bad. or at least, not to his concern. They never once got me in any kind of trouble. They say that trust is the key to a successful relationship. That and communication. I knew we had that. or so we thought. Finding out that your fiance had lied to you from the beginning is a slap in the face. Was I never good enough for the truth? Did you think it was okay to lie to me when you hate lairs? I felt so dirty and betrayed. Needless to say, I couldn’t get over that.

I had got a job… I had to get one, and that made things worse. I’m serious, I have never had more screaming matches with anyone in my life. I hated it. My suitemates hated it because they knew I was miserable. One day one of the girls looked at me and said, “It’s been over for awhile, you need to just let this go.” She was right. I couldn’t take the fighting anymore. I couldn’t be completely honest with him because he would bite my head off. But I still loved him so much. With all my heart and soul. But I had to stop fighting. So I ended it. I cried and told him that I couldn’t fight with him anymore. If God wanted us together, he would give us a sign. I never meant forever. That was November 1st 2011. 

I honestly didn’t cry. I was numb. I immediately indulged in my comfort food. Fruit. And lots of it. For the first time in almost 2 years, Nicholas didn’t know where I was. I didn’t know what he was thinking. We weren’t talking. I knew him. I knew that within a day or so, he would call me and we would talk it out and get back together. He loved me. He wouldn’t just let me go without a fight. I was so wrong. I waited a week before I couldn’t take the waiting anymore. I called him and he wouldn’t answer. Text was the only way to go. Turns out he didn’t want to get back together. I did this and I was going to have to suffer. What? Just like that? After everything I had done for him. After everything I had given him. He’s just done. He doesn’t even fight for me? What kind of man does that? First I find out you lied to me and now you just don’t give a damn anymore? If this was meant to be payback for breaking things off, he succeeded. You know how girls are. We think too much. Along with that, I bottle some things up. I hate to complain about the same things continuously. So I didn’t cry until about a month later. He didn’t want me. He didn’t care. The person that had become my best friend abandoned me without a fight. If you love someone, you are supposed to fight to make things work. Always. He wouldn’t have anything to do with me. So, yes, I went off the deep end. I used anything that I could to numb the pain. (Not drugs though, I was upset but not that stupid.) I had my friends. My best best guy friend at the time helped me most. He was 500 miles away but he listened to me. He helped me stay calm enough to not do anything too stupid. I did go a little crazy, but that’s typical when you don’t have any closure. But then one day in the Summer of 2012, I looked at myself in the mirror. There was no more fire in my eyes. They were dull. I wasn’t me. I hadn’t been me in a long time. U had felt anger towards Nicholas for a long time. For all the things he put me through. But now my blindness was cured. He changed me and I didn’t like what I saw looking back at me. This love that I thought we had made me weak and I had settled for what I had but had never striven to make it better. I tossed in the towel. I put our pictures out of sight. Everything that reminded me of him was slowly fading into a memory. I was determined to be the woman I needed to be. I didn’t need a guy to make me happy. I never had. I didn’t want someone who wanted me to have bigger boobs. I didn’t want someone who hated my family or where I lived. I didn’t want someone who wanted everything their way and never liked what I loved. That would be unacceptable. 

When I first found out we weren’t  getting back together, I offered to give my engagement ring back to him. He refused. He said it was mine. But I did still have his class ring and I needed to give it back. It wasn’t mine and I had no reason to keep it. So, one day in October 2012 I text him. It had been months since I tried talking to him last but I hadn’t spoke to him at all since January. I told him I wasn’t trying to start anything but I had to send him some of his things and I wanted to make sure he got it so I needed an address. For the first time in almost a year, I got a decent reply and a heartfelt ‘I Miss You’. My heart stopped. I had waited so long to hear those words. Memories came rushing back. I felt like things were looking up finally! But I had smarted up. I knew better than to get my hopes up. After all, I had been broken and spent a long time getting myself back together. I couldn’t do that again. I deserved better than that. But I couldn’t help but think this could be better the second time. I told him I wasn’t going to lie to him so I told him all about my past 11 months without him. I got cussed and called a whore. I cussed him and even though I never flat out blamed him, I told him if he would have just talked to be instead of being an arrogant asshole, I would have been a whole lot  calmer. I knew this wasn’t going to work. too much had been said. too many actions had taken place to go back to the way it was. It didn’t feel the same. He wasn’t the person I fell in love with. Pus, he would never let my past go. He would hold it over my head even though it hurt me to even think about some of the things I had done. But I was there. I was back to being the girl he talked to. Maybe this was what I was meant to do. Maybe he was the one that I was meant to be with. He’s a good person deep down, but he doesn’t fit with me. I’m stronger than he thinks. I can be without him. When I told him I wasn’t ever going back to him. He was so upset. But he knew he screwed up. The first time he didn’t fight for me. The second time, he put me on strings and made me dance. Then, he got what was coming to him. Someone else stole my heart. And no matter what happens, I’m never going back. <3